By Willi Goldstein
Designed particularly for college students and psychological overall healthiness pros within the early levels in their careers, this primer is a pragmatic advisor to psychotherapy --
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Additional resources for A Primer for Beginning Psychotherapy 2nd Edition
The person then enters a crisis which seems out of all proportion. All their thoughts concern the fiancé and the chances of getting him back. Here, too, serious thoughts of suicide may occur, because being alone is so frightening. The person can rarely understand his own violent reaction. Closer analysis then reveals the avoided grief. It is often for a dead parent. We have seen examples of this loss being as much as forty years earlier. In the literature avoided grief is also called unreleased, repressed, pathological or disguised grief.
The energy that was linked to the loss can thus be released for new life. It is possible to come to a standstill on all four tasks so that our grief work gets bogged down. On a longer term this may lead to pathological grief. Pathological grief can be divided into three different types: delayed grief, avoided grief and chronic grief. Delayed or postponed grief It is not infrequent for people not to react immediately following the events which should evoke grief. They hold on to themselves, they are going to manage, they live for the children who ‘mustn’t notice anything’.
Here, patient listening is a great help. An old man of our acquaintance lost his wife after fifty years of marriage. We had supported him at the hospital and saw him both shortly before and just after this wife died. For months afterwards he told us the whole course of the illness with all its small occurrences every time we met him, even though we had been there ourselves. We listened every time, because we knew how necessary this process was for him. Slowly he worked his way to an acceptance that his wife was dead and gone for ever.
A Primer for Beginning Psychotherapy 2nd Edition by Willi Goldstein